Hello and Goodbye

I've been trying to write this post for a while now but there is really no easy place to start.  It has been a crazy week and a half for sure!  First, the good news (which most of you already know)...Miles Joseph is here!  Yes, that's Miles, as in a little boy!  Even though everyone was convinced I was having a girl, God had other plans.  I went into labor Wednesday night around 6pm and he was born at 2:43am Thursday, June 20th.  Healthy and squealing, all 7lbs 10oz and 20inches.  He deserves his own post that I will send out soon.  I know lots of you want to know how my natural childbirth experience paned out and I promise to be honest!

Soon our overwhelming joy was met with overwhelming sadness when just a day later we found out that our little Mr.D was being placed with a relative the same day.  Amidst all my sobbing, I packed up his belongings and sent Jordan out the door with him seemingly for the last time I would ever see him.  Even though we knew that a placement was probable, I can't begin to explain what it feels like to actually let go of someone you loved for over a year as your own child.  A piece of my heart surely left with him.  Still, I found a lot of grace in God's timing as I spent the days following loving on my new precious gift.  I prayed a lot (and still do) for D's well being and transition and whenever I am feeling especially sad that I can't hug or kiss him and know that he is OK, I picture doing just that and ask that God pass it along to him in the place I can't be.

His birth mother had given me her phone number a couple of weeks ago in case I wanted to check in.  I wasn't sure how much contact she would have with him or if she would even respond, but after a week, I sent her a text to let her know we missed him and that I had a few more things for him that I had found around the house.  A couple hours later she called me back and left a message.  I was relieved to hear that he was doing good and that she was still getting weekly visits with him through CPS.  She agreed that we could come to the next visit to see him and get to know his new guardian.  In a twist of perspective, we find ourselves on the opposite side of  something comparable to open adoption.  I was immediately struck by how much better I felt just having a report of how he was doing and knowing that I would be able to see him again.  The same a birth mother must feel when she places her child with adoptive parents and waits hopefully for them to fulfill their end of the open adoption agreement.  She has no legal rights and a verbal word is what she clings to.  Heart wrenching anticipation.  Now I understand. 

This whole event makes me so grateful for open adoption and even more sold on it's benefits for everyone involved.  If there is no contact after a placement, it's easy to see how the imagination can take over.  In the week after D's removal I imagined all sorts of awful scenarios.  In reality, I was way off.  Contact gave me reassurance of his well being and the truth regarding his transition.  Even though he is young, I feel like if he sees us again (even just once or twice), it won't be so much like we abandoned him (which is the thought that weighs most heavy on my mind).  I already know as the adoptive parent that contact gives you a sense of permission to parent; seeing that the birth parent is depending on you to do so and acknowledging you in that role.  I hope that we can provide that kind of support to his now caregiver.

I miss our little man like crazy but I know that the big picture is much larger than I can understand and I'm thankful I have a God who I can trust with the details even when they are more than hard to swallow.  I have thought a lot about a verse in Job the last week, and it has encouraged me through some rough moments when I've caught myself turning inward in self pity and doubt. 

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

Wedding Weekend in Wimberley

This last weekend we got to spend a lovely time in Wimberley at Tess's sister's wedding.  These days I am feeling about the size of a house and walking in a full out waddle.  Gone are the days of the cute little bump and fleeting are the memories of breathing normally.  Oh well.  I'll take it for another month.  Still, as we prepared for a little family trip to the hill country, I was wondering if I'd be able to make it.  Luckily our midwife gave the green light at Thursday's appointment and so we picked up Rylin, who had been at my parents since Tuesday, dropped off Mr. D, and hit the road on Friday.  We stopped in Austin and had lunch with Tess and then took her the rest of the way to Wimberley.  Although it's a sweet little town with plenty of things I love, it's not exactly the most kid friendly vacation spot.  We ended up spending most of our free time at the Blanco river.  Most of the local swimming holes don't open until after Memorial Day, but we knew about one place we could have access to the river for fairly cheap, and thank goodness!  Rylin loved swimming in the river and even though it was just warm enough to be enjoyable, there still weren't many other people crowding the area.  On Saturday afternoon we headed to the outdoor wedding set on a hill under an abundance of shade trees and a nice breeze.  Every detail was perfect for the setting and very fitting of Oren and Jordan.  It was great seeing some of Tess's family again after a long time and meeting new people too.  We laughed later at how many times we had to answer "so how do you know Oren & Jordan?" and our surprising answer of "we adopted Oren's nephew".  Most people had heard about us in one way or another but still we had some great conversations about open adoption.  So very cool.  We really experienced one of the great aspects of our relationship this weekend and though Rylin is still a little young to understand, he LOVED getting to see Tess (who he'll now tell you is whose tummy he grew in) and was the life of the party at the reception.  We felt so grateful they let us share in their special day.

Happy Mother's Day

It's been a while since I posted about the other special mother in our lives. I wouldn't be a mother on Mother's day if it weren't for her! I'm talking about Rylin's birth mother, Tess of course! We are so happy that we have her around. We talk via text almost weekly and see her a couple times a month. She has even kept Rylin at our house several times (cloth diapers and all) so that Jordan and I could have a date night! Rylin is getting to the age where he recognizes people and it's been fun to see how he is learning who she is and even able to say something resembling her name. I think I mentioned before about the book I made for him on Shutterfly with the story of his family. He now brings it to me to read to him, so he can point out all the "characters" in the pictures I included. I pray every day that his adoption experience is one he will always see as filled with love. We are so grateful that our open adoption has been such a wonderful experience. Tess has been so supportive of us as Rylin's parents and I can't tell you how encouraging that is. I know that she cherishes getting to see him and watch him grow. We have great conversations when we get together and I love that we can be honest with one another about challenges or questions that come up regarding our unique family. We may live quite different lives, but what we have in common has grown us to be great friends. I am still overwhelmed daily to think about the magnitude of what she gave us...when this sweet boy wraps his arms around my neck and holds on tight, puckers his lips for a kiss, or looks up at me and says "mama" plain and clear. It's so hard to put into words. Sometimes I think my heart might explode! It makes me want to be a great mother, and I know she has entrusted me to be just that. So I'm happy to share this day with her because she deserves to be honored too. We love you Tess! Happy Mother's Day!

Houston Family Weekend

Last weekend our family loaded up and headed to visit our cousins from humid Houston, and surprisingly, the weather was fantastic! Since Tess's grandparents also live close by, we hooked her into joining us so that we could make a quick visit. We stayed Friday and Saturday at my cousin Kim's house where the men did their usual couch-napping-football-watching, the kids swam in the pool, and the women chatted and took lots of pictures. It was a great time and my extended family enjoyed getting to meet Tess. The girl cousins took a quick liking and had her teaching them flips in the pool and sleeping in the camper with them.

Rylin with some of his boy cousins

Rylin LOVES swinging
swimming with Daddy

The girlsAfter a yummy Sunday lunch at my Aunt Freda's, Rylin, Tess and I drove to her grandparents (Jordan had to go back to work). They loved meeting Rylin and of course thought he was so smart and cute! They gave him the sweetest little Adidas sweat suit and toy train that he has loved playing with.

I left Tess to spend the night with her grandparents and Rylin and I went to visit my cousin Crystal and her husband Rick. They recently found out they were expecting, so Crystal and I spent Monday morning shopping for fun baby things. We have our fingers crossed that Rylin will have a little boy cousin, but we won't be too disappointed if it is another girl:)

Crystal let Rylin play in her pots and pans

Monday afternoon I picked up Tess and we had a great dinner with Crystal and Rick. Then Tess dyed my hair (yikes!). I have been wanting to dye my hair red for a long time but really haven't had the guts. I went VERY safe, so the result is quite subtle. I figure I will ease into the whole Angie Everhart look! (sorry no pics of that)

Deja vu

Things can sure change in one year and I'm feeling a little nostalgic. A year ago today we found out that Tess picked us to be the parents of the son she was expecting. You may remember this post. The week before was the first time we met her and this was the picture we took at our agency.

yes, that's a chihuahua with a broken leg! Little Tux:)

Fast forward. Our baby boy is almost one and the love of our lives, and Tess is a member of the family we only dreamed we'd have. A couple Fridays ago, we spoke again at our agency to a group of prospective adoptive couples...and this time we took Tess with us! We all had a lot of fun reliving our story and trying to explain our relationship (with all its quirks) to these couples who were seeing an open adoption for the first time from both sides. Tess is great at being honest, so I know they learned the most from her. So this was our updated picture!

I thank God every day for the blessing He so thoughtfully weaved from two different worlds of pain. We may look different from most, but we're a family just the same!

Full Family Weekend

So this past Friday Jordan and I got a chance to sit on the opposite side of where we were one year ago. Our agency asked us to come and speak to a group of prospective adoptive parents at the seminar that we attended last July. You may remember me blogging about it here and here. We were pretty excited because we LOVE to tell our story and share how adoption has shaped our family. Rylin sat pretty well, and we had a good time talking to the couples that attended.

Shortly after the seminar, we headed to my parents house and the Casey family reunion (my Mom's Mom) on Saturday. We enjoyed getting to see some of our relatives that we don't often spend time with and my Mom and I even entered the homemade ice cream contest. Though our fancy "Fat Bottom Crunch" only won 3rd place, it was an adventure to make(understatement of the year) and a clear winner in our minds! We left for Greenville Saturday night and to the Woodall reunion (Jordan's Dad's Mom) on Sunday. Everyone enjoyed meeting Rylin and we ate some more good southern food!

Part of letting go of our dream of biological children forced us to think about the loss of a genetic link in our family. This is a hang up for so many people considering adoption, and something we definitely wrestled with. I have to admit that going to these reunions made me wonder if Rylin would ever care about these people in the same way I hold an interest. I don't even know most of them. I haven't kept a close relationship with many. Yet somehow, their existence in my family tree still makes me feel a connection.

A birth family answers questions of history (physical traits, personalities, and geographic local), just as an adopted family adds to it (childhood experiences and values). Both are important in understanding the past, but neigther solely determine who one will become. I think a lot about the family Rylin will grow up surrounded with because of open adoption; his birth family and his adopted family. I now can imagine that each will be special in their own way but both play a significant role in understanding his heritage. I also know that he has twice the number of family reunions in his future!

Family

A lot of you have asked us about Tess (Rylin's Birthmom) and I realized that I haven't updated much about she or her family recently. Because open adoption is a new concept to a lot of people, and all parties in our situation are pretty transparent, I feel like we have an obligation to share some of our story whenever we can. We do feel truly blessed to have been matched with a birthfamily that is so much like ourselves when it comes to honesty and openness, and we know that it is no coincidence.

We continue to have a great relationship with Tess and usually text or message one another on a weekly basis. Because we live so close, she has been able to visit several times a month and continues to be surprised by how much Rylin has grown and changed. We laugh about how he has her lips and his birthfather's pointy head! Sometimes she brings a few of her friends, and sometimes her Mom is with her. Rylin gets lots of attention (which he is beginning to love), and no shortage of kisses and photos. Tess is working and taking classes to finish her high school diploma and to get a few college credits. She is definitely a typical teenage girl who is very social with lots of friends.

I asked her today when she stopped by for a visit to give me an idea of her perspective of life after October. (Because that's what everyone really wants to know) She said that she knows her decision was the best she could make considering the circumstances. She has days where she misses him and feels the true loss of parenting, but she says she is confident in her choice. She said that getting to see him has helped a lot. We both mutually agree that our relationship is better than we could have imagined it would be and are thankful for that. She thinks about Rylin all the time, and she has been keeping a journal since pregnancy that she plans to give him when he is older. We listen to a CD that she made special for him and gave to us after he was born.

My hope for Rylin (and I know Tess's too) is that he always feel wanted and loved...and I think we're off to a pretty good start!

Rockin'

So I'm not sure that I ever posted photos of our completed nursery, but I have a good reason. It's not really completed. We did get one step closer this week, though. I've been looking for some time for a rocking chair. No offense to you Mom's out there who love their gliders, but I am not a fan. First and foremost, because they don't mesh with the look I am going for...and I know, I know, but comfort isn't my first priority. I didn't want something uncomfortable, and Jordan wouldn't allow that, but I was looking for something pretty specific to go with my retro theme. I was pretty set on finding some sort of Danish looking-wooden framed-loosed cushioned-mod rocker, so I started scouring Craigslist and eBay. My budget was low, so I figured I'd at least have some reupholstering in my future (ask my poor cousin Candyce about my sad upholstery skills...her sofa and chair found out the hard way), but I didn't mind a fixer up-er. Finally after loosing multiple auctions on eBay because of my thriftiness, I found exactly what I was looking for and I won the auction! Jordan and I picked up our package from Greyhound on Tuesday and I couldn't wait to get it open.

Turns out the upholstery was in great shape and went great with our color scheme! A little wood polisher, and we were good to go. I've already been reading to Rylin at night in it, and I must say it's pretty comfy. My Mom texted me last week (yes, she is a texter now) that MiMi and Papa wanted to pay for it and that was even better!

The last item for the nursery is in the works. My Dad is making me a special table to sit next to my rocker. I promise to post more pics when everything is in place.

Over the weekend

After almost two months of sleeping in the bassinet in our room, Jordan and I decided maybe Rylin should move to his crib in the nursery (afterall, we did a lot of work to get it in there on time!) This was definitely harder for me than it was for him. I like being able to hear his little coos and know that he is sleeping soundly. I carefully set up our video monitor and tried to go to sleep myself instead of stare at the little screen. Needless to say, we both made it through the night, though I had to get up and re-swaddle him a couple of times. I think he's officially outgrown the swaddle blanket and I'm not convinced I can get a regular blanket wrapped tight enough so that his strong little arms and legs don't wiggle their way out.

He was once again at the top of the size bracket when we went to his two month check up today. Now measuring over 13lbs and almost 25inches, he's seems to be growing fast. He smiled and cooed at the Dr., that is, until he got his shots! We spent the rest of the day taking it easy with Rylin sleeping off the Tylenol.

He got lots of love from my side of the family this past weekend at our Taylor Christmas party. Everyone fought over who would hold him next and be the first to make him smile, and even the some of the guys insisted on their time with Rylin. Here are just a few pics...thanks Donna, for posting some of yours.

My cousin Valerie (who happens to be in labor as I type this with Rylin's cuz Bonnie!)

Valerie's hubby, Bud, practicing...

sweet baby face :)

cousin Jonothan catching his attention

my cousin Crystal...she's a natural

a rare picture with Mommy...I usually have the camera!

Visits from Friends

I hesitate to say it, but I think we are getting into a groove. The latter part of this week was much easier than the first (which involved the breakdown of my body in a stress laden heap). Rylin has been sleeping in his bassinet at night all bundled in his swaddle blanket (bless the person who invented that thing, and bless those friends who bought them for me!) and has been spending more time awake during the day. I even ventured out on Thursday to see my buddies from work of which I so abruptly left a couple of Friday's ago. I tried not to get too emotional seeing them because we all know that I have now moved on to my new job (which I LOVE by the way), and will see them much less now. They were so excited to meet Rylin and we had a great visit. Here is the only picture I got (promise I'll get better) of Rylin and his "uncle" Dale.

We have had a steady stream of visitors since Rylin came home. Here are a few of his fan club members.

Aunt Ashley

Cousin Aubrey
Aunt Magdalene

Mary Alice

Today was another big day. We have been texting Tess since the entrustment ceremony, but haven't seen each other since then in order that we could all get adjusted. She and her mom were able to come by today for a much anticipated visit. Again, we are reminded of how blessed we are with the relationship we have with she and her family. We always enjoy our time together, and were all sad when they had to leave. Hopefully we will be seeing each other again soon.

Nan

Tess (LOVE this pic!)

He is changing every day, and I am surprised by different things he does all the time. He is definitely more vocal in the last week and hates getting his diaper changed and being sponge bathed (we'll be happy when the umbilical cord falls off). He now focuses on your face when you hold him, and likes to sleep with his hand in your shirt! He snorts when he gets mad, smiles when he passes gas, and puckers his lips when he wants his pacifier. His two week Dr's check up is tomorrow, but I already know the little guy has to be over 9 lbs by now. He loves to eat! All our cute newborn outfits are barely fitting now, so here are a few more pictures before we pack them up until the next baby(don't tell Jordan I said that)!

Duke has taken over the Boppy pillow!

bright eyes at 6am...he's a morning boy!

on our way to get Daddy Breakfast at Braums (and let him sleep)!

Some things we've learned

Tonight I was getting our paperwork ready to send off to our agency, and started reading through the summaries that Jordan wrote for the books we were required to read. First, I realized they were much better than mine (probably because he took 3 days to write them, and I did mine in about 30 minutes), and second, they made me so proud. My husband is pretty great, and I love him more every day. I thought that you guys might like to hear some of what we've learned...from his prospective!

Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber & Phyllis Speedlin
It was good for me to read these letters because it gives real life accounts of the feelings birthmothers, birthfathers and adoptive parents really feel. The letters made it very real, so much to a point that it would be impossible to acknowledge any truths within the four myths listed.

I have read about and talked about the loss in adoption a lot for the past 5 months. This book did bring the emotional side out of me. It made me both happy and sad. I felt like I got to experience the grief and heartache birthparents endure, but I also felt the joy in knowing that with an open adoption, everyone, especially the child, can live full happy lives.

What I have learned from this book:

1. Closed adoption or not, birthparents’ never forget about their child and children never forget about their birth parents. After reading several of the letters that support this, I do not see how any other form of adoption could be an option. The “out of sight, out of mind” concept that is very common, motivates me to be more proactive in educating people about open adoption.

2. Children want to know more about their birthparents, but can sometimes feel scared to communicate this in fear of hurting their adoptive parent’s feelings. I think this stresses the importance of not only an open adoption, but of keeping the lines of communication open and natural with my child’s birthparents.

3. Both parents will never totally parent. This was a hard pill to swallow, but true. I will probably never know what it’s like to raise my own biological child and the birthparents will never get to fully raise the child they gave birth to. This was a very sobering and sad lesson to learn. It is part of loss within adoption that affects both me and my wife and the birthparents. This is one of those pains that will be with me the rest of my life.


The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Ruskai Melina
Of the tree books this one was my favorite. Almost anything and everything about open adoption was discussed in this book. This book not only answered a lot of my questions but also raised more questions that Angela and I had to talk through. We spent a lot of time discussing “what if” scenarios.

What I have learned from this book:

1. Nobody owes us a child. This lesson is the most important for me. I think it’s easy for us to get caught up in the process of adoption with the assumption that at the end result will be that we have a child. That’s not so. The birthparents have every right to keep their child. For us, if the birth parents decide to parent their child, that is God’s will. We will not feel betrayed, nor should any other adoptive parents. It is their child and we should always keep that in mind. The birthparents shouldn’t feel obligated to relinquish their child either. Even if a relationship has been well established over the months, the birthmother should be extremely sure of her decision to place and not feel obligated because they know the adoptive parents have been waiting.

2. Adoption means loss for the adoptive grandparents as well. Adoptive grandparents need preparation for the adoption process and their loss of a biological grandchild. It is our responsibility to inform our parents of everything we have learned. Dealing with entitlement and jealously issues are as just as common with the adoptive grandparents as it is with the adoptive parents. Informing our parents may not make the transition to an open adoption easier, but it will make it smoother.

3. The birthfather is important too. Stereotypically, birthfathers are viewed as someone who is irresponsible and doesn’t want anything to do with the child. This is not true in all cases. Whether the birthmother shuts him out of her life or he chooses to retreat on his own, birthfathers have the same emotions birthmothers do. They do not ‘just forget’. I have learned that as a man it will be my role to relate and work with the birthfather in communicating the importance of his availability in his child’s life, regardless of the state of the relationship he has with the birthmother. I hope the birthfather is available to our future child and I hope that he can be someone that I can mentor as well.

4. The adoptive mother can breastfeed. I was totally unaware of this. Since discovering this, Angela and I have researched the topic and met with her doctor to discuss.


Children of Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner
I liked this book because it helped give me some insight on what the thought process might be like for adopted children through different stages of their life.

What I have learned from this book:

1. Open adoption can help minimize acting out by teens. Junior high through high school is already a weird time for a kid because they are trying to figure out what they’re about and who they belong with socially. I can imagine that if an adopted kid didn’t have contact with his birthparents or know where he came from, this could send his life into a little bit of a tail spin. I have learned that during this time, an adopted teen may feel rejection from his birthparents and try to recreate that feeling or event by acting out and pushing the boundaries and rules set in place by his parents. An open adoption can help mitigate against this because over time he would have learned that he was not rejected, but placed out of love.

2. Children grieve as well. As birthparents grieve the placement of their child and adoptive parents grieve their loss of fertility, adopted children also grieve the loss of their birthparents. Even in an open adoption children and teens still grieve. I have learned that this is normal and it is important that as parents, we talk about it with our children.

3. Knowing the birthparents can help the adoptive parents understand their child better. The constant birthparent contact that open adoptions provide can help adoptive parents understand what makes their child “tick.” Whether it is motivation or certain personality traits, by understanding the birthparents and how they “tick”, this gives the adoptive parents an advantage on how to better understand the mind of their child.

4. Adoption professionals can sometimes have trouble letting go of a case. To me this was very interesting. The entire adoption process revolves around the birthparents, adoptive parents and the child (the “triad”). But the adoption professional puts a lot of work into the case as well. This makes me feel good because this means that the professional truly cares for the lives of the individuals that are counseling and guiding through this process.

Finishing up

So we've just about finished up our paper work. I officially completed the Profile last night, and Jordan finished writing his essays on the three books we had to read. I am almost done with the last book and essay myself, and I am so relieved! We also finished a few other forms that have to be turned in before the home study. One form notes what illnesses, genetic histories, and pre-natal situations we are open to. We made an appointment with my Dr. last week and were able to get his medical explanation of a lot of these things. Some looked pretty scary on paper, but were not a big deal. Others really were scary. There is so much to consider and really think about that you might never have to face having a biological child. I am trying to look at it in a positive way, and know that it is making me more aware of things outside my happy little bubble. I also know that it is all part of HIS plan, and we are depending a lot on faith.

We also got the privilege this weekend of sitting down to talk with a really sweet couple that Jordan's parents knew from Greenville about their experience with open adoption. They were nice enough to share with us what it was like to adopt and raise 2 boys from infancy (one biracial) after having three biological children. Their stories were pretty amazing, and they were honest with us about the struggles and joys they had along the way. We really took a lot from what they had to say, and at the end, we were able to meet the two boys too!

Seminar Day Two

My husband is exhausted, but I'm feeling excited! That is a good way to summarize our day. We began by getting better acquainted with the additional couples who were back for their second (or 3rd!) adoption. Jordan and I have already decided that we are going to make good friends during this process with the other couples walking the same road. It is so encouraging to know that we're not alone. After brief introductions, we got down to the nitty gritty. The first half of our day was spent going over legal issues.

Here are a few of the basics...

-Each state regulates adoption laws
-Texas requires 48 hours after birth before a mother can relinquish her rights
-After placement, there is a 6 month Agency supervision before the adoption is finalized in court (at this point the agency has parental rights)

After lunch, we were joined by an adoptive parent who told her story and answered questions we had about open adoption, her child's birthfamily, transracial adoption, etc. It was nice to see someone who was living what we had been talking and reading about. The latter part of the day was spent talking about creating our profile (the sheet that goes in the infamous "book" the birthmother's will look at to select a couple), the match meeting, what to do after the match, and working through an open adoption plan with the birthfamily.

We do feel a little like our brains are overflowing with information, but it is also exciting to see a glimpse of what's to come. We were sent home with more paperwork, and a few more reading assignments. After these are completed, we will once again meet up with our case worker, but this time at our home. Hoping Duke will be on his best behavior!

Welcome to my blog!

So after swearing that I would never have the time or desire to keep a blog...here I am. By now, if we hadn't told you already, you've probably figured out that we're adopting!

My intention for this site is to provide a way for friends and family to keep up with us during our process, to keep me occupied while we're waiting, and to have some real, "in-the-moment" commentary that I can look back on.

So here are a few FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS that we've already answered a couple hundred times (I'm not tired yet!)....

Domestic or International?

Domestic-most likely from Texas

Private or Agency?

After looking at many, many agencies(and their many different policies, fees, and procedures) and talking to friends, acquaintances, praying and stressing, we are happy to be using Buckner Adoption & Maternity services here in Dallas

Gender, Race?

again, after a lot of prayer we have chosen not to specify either of these. We felt like gender wasn't a big deal at all, and after all, if we were having the baby...we wouldn't get to pick! When deciding on what race and ethnicity we were open to, it was a little more complicated. However, we decided that every child deserves a loving home, and we knew that our families could provide that and more. We really feel like our hearts are open to whomever God brings to us.

Age of child?

newborn-most of the children that Buckner places in their Domestic Infant adoption program are matched before birth and the adoptive parents take the baby home from the hospital

Open or closed?

one of the reasons we chose our agency was because of their belief in open adoptions. This was especially important to me, and Jordan has since come fully on board. Jim Gritter, In The Spirit of Open Adoption defines "True Open Adoption" as:


1. Birth family selects the adoptive family

2. The families meet each other face to face

3. They exchange full identifying information

4. They establish a significant ongoing relationship


To a lot of people, open adoption is a scary thing. Most of what we hear in the media are the rare horror stories. Often, a lack of knowledge leads to assuming the worst. The more research I did on the topic, the less anxious I was, and the more positive feedback I found. Our agency has been doing adoptions longer than any agency in Texas, and have seen the effects of open and closed adoptions...and feel so strongly about it, they only offer open. I could go on and on about this one, but maybe I'll save that for another post!


and the big one....


HOW LONG?

our agency has a 6-12 mth average wait after all paperwork, interviews, and home studies are complete.

So hopefully this answers a few of your basic questions. We are an open book so we'd love answer anymore that you might have.


More than anything, we are so excited about this new chapter of our lives. We know that this experience will be unique, and we can't wait to see what tomorrow looks like. (Don't worry...we're not naming the baby Tomorrow)