5 years ago today

Five years ago today we were a hopeful couple so crazy about each other we couldn't see how our life together could be anything but perfect. Of course, we woke up a couple weeks later knowing otherwise! One thing we definitely didn't expect was to be where we are now. God has a way of doing his own thing with our lives.

Five years ago I pretty much had mine all figured out. I would marry Jordan, move into an apartment for two years to save money, get a dog, buy an SUV, buy a house, and start having babies...three of them...two boys then a girl, just like my own family. It was all pretty clear, and it all happened as planned...except for the baby part, that is. Yea, you thought Jordan was the planner in the family. I definitely did my share of dreaming, and then soon after that dog, SUV, and house, I got slapped with a hard lesson. I wasn't in charge of my life, much less my fertility. It was a realization I thought I could avoid (it was really there all along). I was confused, I was sad, I was angry, I was frustrated, but through it all, I was hopeful. I knew God created me for a purpose, gave me a desire for children for a reason, and loved me more than I could comprehend. So I also knew there must be a plan that was better than my own imagination. Part of that plan was finding new friends in the mist of our struggles that understood exactly what it felt like to walk in our shoes. Friends who became an invaluable source of comfort and encouragement and who taught me a lot about myself and a lot about love. Another part was discovering a new passion for adoption...even before we have been given the gift of a child.

I think a part of that plan that stands out to me most today, though, is my marriage. Never did I dream that I could be happy five years into marriage without children. Never did I think I would have a husband who could love me through such lows and disappointment. Never did I foresee something so hard being what pulled us closer together. For most of you, I don't need to tell you how lucky I am. You know Jordan. But just for a refresher, here is just a glimpse at the type of guy he is....

He's always sending me flowers for no reason. He loves to bring my favorite thing (Sprinkles cupcakes) to my work to surprise me. He once made a video for my birthday with all my friends and family. He does the laundry. He did all our loan/grant paperwork himself. He cooks. He tells people that I'm the best thing that's happened to him behind my back. He goes to chick flicks even when he would rather see ANYTHING but. He rubs my feet even though I hate feet and rarely touch his. He text or emails me he loves me daily. He's usually the first to make amends when we fight even if it's not his fault. He rescued me on the side of 635 in rush hour traffic when he had warned me numerous times to get gas the day before. He empties the dishwasher. He loves his mama (& his sister)...and that's just to name a few.

I love you Jordan...way more than if our life was perfect or how I planned it! Happy 5th Anniversary!