Infertility, Family, & a BIG Surprise

If you're still reading my blog you probably know where we came from.  Long ago (OK it was like four years ago) I posted briefly about infertility.  It was really a post bragging on my husband, but it told the short version of wanting kids, being disappointed in my physical failings, and finding a love for adoption that God planted in my heart.  I really wouldn't trade how God has shaped our family thus far for anything.  His infinite wisdom is so much greater than my own tiny plans.  How much I would have missed if He had let me do things my own way.

In this month of Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for.  These two sweet little boys and one big boy are only a smidgen of it!  My heart has been full of gratefulness for a while now regarding my family.  Both immediate and extended sometimes drive me batty but show me more about love, selflessness, and encouragement than most are afforded the privilege.  Jordan and I have both been blessed with parents who have supported us beyond our expectations, brothers and sisters (and in laws) that care about all the details of our life, and grandparents who set examples of hard work, love, and godliness.  Our family couldn't possibly be any richer.

So last month when I haphazardly took a pregnancy test to ease my curiosity, I don't think I had fully prepared myself to see two lines staring back at me.  I've taken a lot of pregnancy tests.  None of them were positive so I had kind of just resigned that it was impossible.  In the back of my mind, though, it was always there.  A tiny little seed of desire still wanting to experience pregnancy, birth, a genetic tie, a baby that looks like me, and a commonality with all my other girlfriends.  So I cried.  Well that's to put it mildly.  I suppose it was good that Jordan wasn't home to experience my toilet bowl break down.  He got there soon enough though, and after the initial shock wore off, he smiled and smiled and smiled.  I think he's still smiling.  Over the last few weeks I have covered the gamete of emotions.  Fear, excitement, hope, caution.  Infertility changes a person and it's interesting how a lot of the insecurities I dealt with then have resurfaced now.  Still, I have resolved to not let past struggles steal my current joy.  So this Thanksgiving, the month before and the days after, I am thankful for this sweet surprise and miraculous blessing.  God's timing is perfection and this patchwork quilt of a family is more wonderful than any I could have dreamed up myself!

A Whole New Wardrobe

OK...so I wish, right?!  As I mentioned a while back, Jordan and I have changed our diet in a pretty significant way this year.  After reading the Primal Blueprint, we have eliminated all grains, white potatoes, sugar and artificial sweetener, started buying a lot more veggies, cut down on our dairy, and tried to stick to organic and grass fed meats.  We eat lots of bacon and good fats and avoid processed and "convenience" foods.  The results have been HUGE for our family and for my own weight loss.  We both have said goodbye to any and all stomach issues, I lowered my cholesterol and blood pressure, Jordan (being a type 1 diabetic) has lowered his A1C, lost 10 lbs of body fat, and we have a new love for the Y doing Yoga together (he'll kill me for that one).   Last month I passed the 65lb weight loss mark!  Crazy to think I was at a point where I needed to loose that much weight.  In doing so though, NONE of my clothes fit.  This is my kind of problem except I don't really have the cash to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.  So....I've slowly been adding some things via thrift stores.  With a little patience and creativity, I think I've scored some great new pieces.  So to brag on myself a little bit, here is my dramatic before and after!

I honestly had to search for a picture of myself "before".  I did not allow a lot of them to be taken.  And looking at it I can see why!  If you're tired of the same old failing diet or of feeling sluggish and less than alive, I encourage you to check out the Paleo diet.  A friend of mine encouraged me for over a year to do so and now I am seriously grateful!  No, I don't buy into the whole notion that we "evolved" to eat this way, but I do agree with the nutrition behind it, our governments flawed food pyramid, and obviously my results.

September is Almost Gone!

September started out a rocky one for us.  Poor Mr. D came down with a virus and we ended up in the hospital for fluids.  

He was a trooper though, and after an overnight stay, he went home.  The nurses and Dr.'s took good care of us and our stay was almost a mini vacation.  Almost.

Part of the reason it seemed like a vacation was because Rylin went to stay with Mimi & Papa!  He had a good time riding and feeding the horses.  Helping Papa with the hay and entertaining Mimi with his endless barely translatable vocabulary!

On Friday, as D was doing much better, we headed to West as well.  Labor Day is WestFest weekend and on Saturday morning we took the kids to the parade.

Then to WestFest to enjoy a few complementary rides thanks to Papa.  Rylin was not interested in much except the big slide and the Ferris wheel...and even that I had to practically drag him on screaming.  He was in a mood.

A mood that shows in this picture!  We got to watch Shelby and KK preform for the Junior Historians Czech dance club.  I was a member back in the day and found it humorous that the show was the exact same we had done...narration and all! 

 After we left, we managed to leave a wave of stomach virus in our wake.  I felt horrible as we thought Mr. D was no longer contagious.  Somehow Jordan, Rylin, and I escaped it.

Rylin and D have become great friends.  They love to play together in Rylin's room.  D is moving a lot these days and even took three steps today!  He has come a long way from being in a cast for six weeks just two months ago!

Rylin had his first day of Mother's Day Out.  He was so ready to go!  He loves school and is always grins when I drop him off and pick him up.

We enjoyed some cooler weather and a few last chances to swim in our giant pool!  The chickens are very curious when the kids are in the back yard.  They looked so funny pecking around while the kids splashed.

Then from out of nowhere, Sissy decided my arm looked like a nice perch and flew up on me while I was typing on my laptop.  Crazy chicken!

Jordan and I celebrated our 8th anniversary this month too.  We enjoyed a child free weekend thanks to Mimi & Papa of which we kicked off with a fantastic dinner with our friends Shala & Matt.

I was ready to see my boys again when the weekend was over.  Monday night we hit up Chick-fil-a for some play time.  Rylin took advantage of having the playplace to himself!

In September Rylin finally started sleeping in his own bed...most of the time!  Sometimes he still sneaks in early in the morning.

We got to visit the Plano Balloon Festival with our friends from church and though Rylin was more interested in running around with the other kids, he did get excited about the balloons upon take off.

We've been going to our local YMCA a lot lately and taking advantage of the childcare!  Jordan and I get a few hours to work out and the boys get to play with friends.  Jordan has been playing some racket ball and has shown Rylin a few moves!

We went to a few more of our friend's birthday parties in September too.  It is definitely the season of birthday parties for us!  Yesterday, Rylin left Carson & Avery's without his shirt...it was an extra fun time!

We've been getting some much needed rain so the whole family took advantage of our wet Saturday to run around and be silly.  Rylin & D loved splashing in the puddles and getting Daddy wet!

5 years ago today

Five years ago today we were a hopeful couple so crazy about each other we couldn't see how our life together could be anything but perfect. Of course, we woke up a couple weeks later knowing otherwise! One thing we definitely didn't expect was to be where we are now. God has a way of doing his own thing with our lives.

Five years ago I pretty much had mine all figured out. I would marry Jordan, move into an apartment for two years to save money, get a dog, buy an SUV, buy a house, and start having babies...three of them...two boys then a girl, just like my own family. It was all pretty clear, and it all happened as planned...except for the baby part, that is. Yea, you thought Jordan was the planner in the family. I definitely did my share of dreaming, and then soon after that dog, SUV, and house, I got slapped with a hard lesson. I wasn't in charge of my life, much less my fertility. It was a realization I thought I could avoid (it was really there all along). I was confused, I was sad, I was angry, I was frustrated, but through it all, I was hopeful. I knew God created me for a purpose, gave me a desire for children for a reason, and loved me more than I could comprehend. So I also knew there must be a plan that was better than my own imagination. Part of that plan was finding new friends in the mist of our struggles that understood exactly what it felt like to walk in our shoes. Friends who became an invaluable source of comfort and encouragement and who taught me a lot about myself and a lot about love. Another part was discovering a new passion for adoption...even before we have been given the gift of a child.

I think a part of that plan that stands out to me most today, though, is my marriage. Never did I dream that I could be happy five years into marriage without children. Never did I think I would have a husband who could love me through such lows and disappointment. Never did I foresee something so hard being what pulled us closer together. For most of you, I don't need to tell you how lucky I am. You know Jordan. But just for a refresher, here is just a glimpse at the type of guy he is....

He's always sending me flowers for no reason. He loves to bring my favorite thing (Sprinkles cupcakes) to my work to surprise me. He once made a video for my birthday with all my friends and family. He does the laundry. He did all our loan/grant paperwork himself. He cooks. He tells people that I'm the best thing that's happened to him behind my back. He goes to chick flicks even when he would rather see ANYTHING but. He rubs my feet even though I hate feet and rarely touch his. He text or emails me he loves me daily. He's usually the first to make amends when we fight even if it's not his fault. He rescued me on the side of 635 in rush hour traffic when he had warned me numerous times to get gas the day before. He empties the dishwasher. He loves his mama (& his sister)...and that's just to name a few.

I love you Jordan...way more than if our life was perfect or how I planned it! Happy 5th Anniversary!

We Survived

Today was a our first interview with our case worker, and all went well. We met at the agency office around 9:30 a.m., and didn't leave until 1:30 p.m. Obviously, there was a lot to talk about! The interview was actually very laid back, and started with both of us answering questions together about how we met, what attracted us to one another, what our personalities were like, and what our relationship looks like now that we are married. It was especially fun talking about how we resolve conflict, deal with anger, and handle stress...I am definitely being sarcastic here! We went over our financial stats and how we planned on affording adoption and why we chose Domestic adoption vs. further infertility treatment or International Adoption. All in all, it was a lot of what we had already answered on our application. Then, she split us up and talked one-on-one about our families. We had to explain what our parents and siblings were like (especially fun to "describe" my brothers!) and what our family dynamics looked like growing up. While we were waiting for the other to complete the individual interview, she had us complete a workbook/survey on transracial adoption. As I mentioned earlier, I was a bit concerned with what Jordan might happen to say during our interviews. He has a way with miscommunication. So when he told me in the car on the way back home that he mentioned how he got "whippin's" as a child (which seemed to alarm the case worker), I had to roll my eyes. I tried to explain that "spanking" might have been a better term, as "whippin" tends to put an image of being lashed with a leather strap. He disagreed. Men. Whatever. "Whippin's" and all, we are now clear to go to the seminar next Thursday and Friday, and then will meet back up with our case worker to complete the home study.

Speaking of home, we did manage to get the furniture put back into the bedrooms after the carpet was installed. Duke's chair however, is being put out to the curb, and it might just be the first of many sacrifices the poor little guy is going to have to make. When we first got Duke, he decided that our red IKEA chair was his dog bed. We moved it everywhere around our apartment to accommodate him. When we were gone and he was fenced in the kitchen, the chair went in the kitchen. When we slept at night, the chair went in the bedroom. It was his security blanket. When we moved to our house, we put the chair (which by now looked like a sad salvaged dumpster find) into our office. It became where Duke spent most of his day when he wasn't out sunning on the patio. However, it was obvious that we no longer had room for the chair (and it looked and smelled worse than my brothers undies) with the guest bed being moved to the office. I decided to buy Duke a new, actual dog bed. So today, I brought it home for him to try out. He did sit a while, but not sure if he's as impressed with it as I am. As I'm typing, he's sleeping in my spot in bed...forget his designer dog bed! So here are a few before and after pics.

The initial take over (the cutest puppy ever!)

Snoozing in the kitchen (yes, that is the oven door)

Really comfortable...and giving the scary eye

appearance on Everhart Christmas Card 2007

...and his new Fatboy!

not so sure about this...